Benjamin Franklin: All About His Personal & Private Life

An accomplished diplomat, statesman, scientist, writer, philosopher, and many other things, Benjamin Franklin was a man of many worlds. Known as one of the Founding Fathers of the United States, he has left mostly a political legacy.

Franklin, however, was a complex man with a deep interest in the world around him and a willingness to explore the boundaries of what was possible. Behind the public figure, there existed a man with personal relationships, hopes, and dreams that often evade stories that focus on his political career.

Franklin lived a fascinating and rich life, full of triumphs and failures, and left an indelible mark on the history of the world and the people around him.

Benjamin Franklin, born on January 7, 1706, came from a very large family. He was the fifteenth of 17 children fathered by Josiah Franklin. His mother, Abiah Folger, was Josiah’s second wife. As can be expected, his father, a soapmaker, did not have the money to send all his children to school. His desire for Benjamin to enter the clergy could therefore not be realized, as it required several years of schooling.

However, Benjamin was extremely proactive in his life from a young age. At just 12, he apprenticed himself to his older brother, James, who was a printer, beginning his career in the printing industry. His brother started the New England Courant, one of Boston’s first newspapers and the first to print local news as opposed to the other newspapers that only reprinted news from Europe. Benjamin managed to convince his brother to let him write for the paper.

James, however, was a harsh boss and did not treat his younger brother well. Benjamin left the business in 1723 and decided to go to Philadelphia. At the time, Benjamin was too young to make this decision alone without his family’s approval, and it was deemed “running away,” which was considered illegal at the time.

He first tried to get a job as a printer in New York but failed. He then traveled across New Jersey, ending up in Philadelphia, where he ran out of money. Tired and worse for wear, it was here on October 6, 1723, that he met his future wife, Deborah Read. She was just 15 at the time, and Benjamin was 17.

Having just bought three bread rolls with the last of his money, he walked past her house, where she noticed him looking awkward and disheveled. They struck up a conversation and became good friends in the days that followed.

Franklin found work at a printer but needed accommodations. Read’s father was kind enough to rent a room in his house to Franklin, and a romance developed between Benjamin and Deborah.

Meanwhile, the governor of Pennsylvania, Sir William Keith, had convinced Franklin to go to London to acquire equipment to start a newspaper. Franklin took up Keith’s offer, but while in London, it became apparent to Franklin that Keith’s promises were false.

Before he left, Deborah and Benjamin “interchang’d some Promises,” as Benjamin later wrote of the events before he set off. With Keith’s promises proving to be lies, Benjamin found himself compelled to spend longer than anticipated in London. He sent Deborah a letter stating that he would be in London indefinitely.

After several months, Benjamin returned to Philadelphia and found that Deborah had been heartbroken by his absence. Believing that she may never see him again, she entered into a relationship with a potter (or a carpenter, depending on the source) named John Rogers, whom she later married. Franklin would later write of the event, describing it as a “great Erratum” for which he felt a certain responsibility and guilt.

The marriage was in large part due to the interference of Deborah’s mother, who had matched the two and urged them to get married. She was not keen on the idea of her daughter waiting indefinitely for Benjamin to return (which he did in October 1727).

Upon his return, Benjamin put his hands to work, briefly working as a shop assistant before getting back into the print industry. After borrowing money, he was able to set up his own business. He garnered a reputation as a hard worker and became successful, bringing in both government contracts and regular work.

In 1728, Benjamin became a father. The woman’s name is unknown, but their child, William, ended up being raised by Benjamin. During this time, Franklin courted another woman but plans for marriage fell through.

Meanwhile, Deborah Read developed marital problems when she discovered her husband already had a wife in England. Predictably, this led to her leaving him. Rogers then fled to the West Indies, where it was presumed that he died in a fight. His death, however, was never confirmed.

Rekindling their old affection, Benjamin and Deborah were married shortly thereafter, and Deborah agreed to raise William as her own. The marriage, however, had to be a common-law marriage as Rogers’s status was unknown. In the Province of Pennsylvania, Read could not legally be divorced on the grounds of desertion, and since it could not be proven whether Rogers was actually dead, Read could not claim to be a widow.

Nevertheless, the two were joined, and Deborah moved into Franklin’s house on 139 Market Street. The residence also served as a printing house, and Deborah opened a small stationery shop on the first floor.

Children and Tragedy

In 1732, Deborah gave birth to Francis Folger Franklin. Little “Franky” was an extremely bright child whose parents doted on him. In 1734, Benjamin hired a tutor for his two sons. Franky was just two years old when he began his education.

Benjamin’s work as a writer and publisher was going well. He also founded the Library Company of Philadelphia, and there was no shortage of money. In 1734, he had accrued enough to buy a house for his family, which at the time consisted of just four: Benjamin, Deborah, William, and Franky.

Of note is that Benjamin was against smallpox inoculation early in his life, believing that it made people even sicker. As he learned more about the science, his views changed radically, and he became a vocal supporter for inoculation, especially as Philadelphia had been hit by waves of the disease. At the time, however, inoculation did carry with it significant risk, as it could indeed develop into full-blown smallpox.

Franky, however, was never inoculated. Deborah was against the idea; Franky already suffered terribly from the flux, and his parents worried that having him inoculated while he was not healthy was a risky decision. In 1736, just one month after his fourth birthday, Franky died from the disease. Benjamin spent the rest of his life regretting having never had his son inoculated, and his pro-vaccination stance became solidified.

Smithsonian’s Stephen Coss suggests that the episode led to resentment between Benjamin and Deborah, as Deborah had been against inoculating her son. This would later lead the two to become estranged.

On September 11, 1743, the couple had another child, Sarah. Franklin didn’t enjoy a close relationship with his daughter. When she was a child, much of his time was spent delving into experiments with electricity, and he found he had little time for his daughter.

Later in life, she married Richard Bache without her father’s consent or knowledge. Benjamin was furious, but he was enamored with his grandchildren. Sarah would go on to be a staunch patriot during the American War of Independence.

In the early 1730s, Benjamin Franklin became a member of the local Freemason Lodge. It is likely that this would have helped him achieve success in business. Freemasons were (and still are) known for elevating their own within society.

Franklin became prominent in many sectors of public life. He was heavily involved in the printing industry and saw the printing press as a way to educate the public. He printed newspapers through which he could disseminate his views through various methods such as essays and satire.

He went into business with many other printers, collaborating on published materials. The industry proved to be a phenomenal success for Franklin, and by 1753, eight of the 15 English-language newspapers in the American colonies were owned by him and his partners.

From 1737 to 1753, Franklin also served as postmaster of Philadelphia, after which he became Postmaster General of British America.

He was also an author and penned Poor Richard’s Almanack, an annual publication upon which much of Franklin’s prominence and fame were based. Of note is an essay he wrote dated June 25, 1745. “Old Mistress Apologue or Advice to a Friend on Choosing a Mistress” contained subject matter that was rather misogynist, although satirical, and the document went unpublished for hundreds of years after his death.

Many years later, he would also write another famous satirical essay entitled “Fart Proudly,” a prime example of flatulence humor.

Fallout With William

Benjamin’s eldest son, William, grew up to become a lawyer. He worked closely with his father, and the two were close confidants. World affairs, however, would tear the two apart.

William was appointed Royal Governor of New Jersey and was a staunch royalist, while Benjamin became a leading figure in the Patriot cause. William spent much of the Revolutionary War imprisoned, and upon his release, he urged guerilla war against the rebel forces. After the war, he moved to England and continued to lobby for the Royalist cause.

Sadly, Benjamin and William were never reconciled.

Benjamin Franklin was a human being with notorious sexual urges, and this fact was not compatible with the idea of a virtuous founding father in the eyes of the American public. The truth is that Benjamin Franklin’s private life has been the subject of intense academic inquiry in modern historical research.

At the age of 49, he met Catherine Ray, 23, and the two began a flirtatious relationship, but it seems never to have gone beyond that. They did, however, keep in regular contact via letters that had a noticeably saucy theme.

His role as a political figure led him to spend lengthy periods away from his wife. From 1757 to 1775, he spent most of his life in London and made frequent trips to the continent. Deborah was deathly afraid of ocean travel and never accompanied him abroad. Benjamin wrote to her over the course of his stays in Europe but made excuses as to why he could not return home. Deborah died in December 1774 from a stroke. She had spent just two years with her husband in the last 17 years of their marriage.

Meanwhile, Franklin was enjoying life in England. He is said to have attended Hellfire Club meetings, a secret society of high-profile politicians and socialites who engaged in orgies and other taboo sexual activities.

His activities were certainly not of the conservative kind. He was fond of nudism and took morning “air baths,” in which he wandered around the house naked. This would have been less controversial had he lived alone, but he was a boarder in the house of a widow, Margaret Stevenson. She was responsible for nursing him back to health after he developed breathing problems, likely from the foul air of London. It is unknown whether the two had any romantic feelings towards each other, but Franklin did, however, have an eye for her 18-year-old daughter, Mary, who went by the name of Polly.

By all accounts, Polly was quite flirtatious with Franklin, who was hired to tutor her. On one occasion, an artist, Charles Willson Peale, called upon the residence unannounced and discovered Franklin kissing a young woman who was sitting on his lap. It is thought that this woman was Polly. Peale sketched what he saw.

The extent of Benjamin and Polly’s relationship regarding physical intimacy is ultimately unknown and subject to speculation. What is known, however, is that when Franklin died in 1790, Polly had crossed the ocean to be by his side.

Perhaps the most notorious of Franklin’s escapades came about from his endeavors in Paris. He was sent there by Congress in 1776 to gain support for the cause of American independence.

While there, he spent much of his time attending parties that lasted all night and took delight in wooing the ladies of high society. His fellow diplomat, Arthur Lee, described Franklin’s activities to Congress, writing that Franklin had made Paris a “corrupt hotbed of vice.” Franklin did little to deny the claims; his reputation did not seem to bother him.

He was notably involved with a married noblewoman, 33-year-old Madame Brillon de Jouy. It was observed that she would sit on his lap and engage in flirtatious banter. They would take long walks in the gardens and exchange amorous affection for one another, but when Franklin suggested taking the relationship to a deeper level, to his surprise, she refused.

After being rebuffed by Brillon de Jouy, he began a relationship with Madame Helvetius, a widowed woman who lived a Bohemian life in a commune. He proposed marriage to her, but she turned him down, citing that she had promised never to marry again.

After returning home to America, Franklin kept correspondence with Brillon de Jouy and Helvetius, as well as Catherine Ray (Green).

Perhaps it’ll never be known the extent of his flirtatious dalliances. It is plausible that they never went beyond playful petting.

Whatever the truth, his own words should be taken into account as he wrote in his autobiography, “That hard-to-be-governed passion of youth had hurried me frequently into intrigues with low women that fell in my way.”

Franklin’s final days were spent suffering from an empyema, a buildup of fluids in the pleural cavity, as a result of pleurisy. He had chest pains and a high fever and spent his last days frequently vomiting. His condition was causing him to slowly suffocate. He passed away on April 17, 1790 at around 11 o’clock in the evening.

He was buried in Christ Church Burial Ground in Philadelphia next to his wife, Deborah, and his late son, Francis Folger. Around 20,000 people attended his funeral, slightly less than half the population of Philadelphia at the time.

While Benjamin Franklin is lauded as one of the greatest Americans who played a huge role in the founding of the United States, the history of this man is often presented in a sanitized form.

Benjamin Franklin was a human being with a life full of happiness and grief, as well as love and lust. He was a man who certainly took full advantage of the opportunities that life presented, much to the detriment and joy of those around him.